Ignoring the damage I had just committed I turned my sights again to the walls of Lord British's castle. We quickly made it to the outskirts of Britain again, only this time we spotted a horse and carraige for sale. Checking our funds I decided it would be best to purchase the carraige, after all attempting to simply take it brought the annoying voice of Iolo to my ears, the gold was well spent. We loaded up and guided the carraige right up the bridge of the castle and disembarked, shoved past the now decaying body of Chuckles the court jester and into the throne room or Lord British himself! Unfortunately the old codger wasn't seated at his throne, so I took it upon myself to steal a seat.

You two, fight to the death!

After poking my nose around the throne room we found an anti-chamber that lead into the dining hall where Lord British himself was pigging out on the latest animal carcass. I realized I was famished and that Iolo and Spark must be as well and decided we should all dine with the king. At first their was some protest, some nonsense about us not being allowed in the castle, but I just let them know that Chuckles had said it was alright. I started a conversation with British, only to find out we were old friends! This was great, having the lord of the realm on my side would make all my plans that much easier to accomplish, or so I thought. It turned out the land was having a lot of problems, moongates not working properly which I was WELL aware of, magic not working properly, an island having just shown up out of the blue in the middle of the sea, blah blah blah. The interesting thing was the old goat handed me something he called a 'Orb of the Moons', oooooo, has something to do with the moongates, so I'll have the check it out later.

I'd like to give thanks to that force which has given me my two slaves Iolo and Spark, amen!

Apparently the new island is 'The Isle of Fire' some abysmall place where I defeated Exodus of which I had no recollection but I'll take the credit. Next the king decided he'd chastize me about not visiting in the last two-hundred years and how Iolo, Shamino and Dupre are likely sour about it all. I calmed his nerves and quickly whispered that Iolo had been beaten into place and that this was no longer an issue. He look at me confused, but I know he got the point. I further inquired as to the problems with magic and got roughly the same response about it not working correctly. However, he told me I should give it a try and that a spellbook was stored away with some other things I would find useful, finally some fruits for all this nonsense! As if that were not enough British agreed to give me the deed to his ship the 'Golden Ankh' which was moored just south of Vesper a coastal mining town to the northeast. Then he stuffed some magical crystal in my hand that would transport me to the Isle of Fire! Clearly the king was the most useful person in the kingdom, he would be spared in the future.

I learned about a mad mage by the name of Rudyom who resides in the village of Cove, just east of Britain. Apparently the story with this guy is he went mad while investigating some substance known as 'blackrock'. The king thinks it can solve the problem with the moongates, but I was more interested in the maddening effects it might have on the local populace, I would have to track this mad man down. I mentioned some idle thing about the murder in Trinsic and the kings eyes grew wide, he immediately started interrogating me about it and if I was investigating and this and that until I shot him a icy glare. The fool smiled and told me he just knows I'll find the crazed murderer, in the gayest of manners. Lord British backed up what Iolo had told me about my knighted friend Dupre holding out in the city of Jhelom as well as a city of great violence. I suddenly thought to myself that Dupre might be a use comrade after all, but I had no idea where Jhelom was yet. I grew bored with Lord British and moved on to Nystul who was clumsy feeding bits of bread into his old gullet. This man was a sight to behold, he appeared as if decaying right in front of us all, and all over the dining hall of the castle!

Nystul was fairly senile, he didn't know who Lord British was, yet sat not three feet away from the man. However, he wasn't completely useless, it turned out he sells spells and reagents, I gather as ingredients with which to cast spells. Some kind of templar was also seated, munching away on some lamb, but I was growing bored of these trivalties and decided I needed at once to fetch the supplies Lord British had stored away for me. I stole away to his study and took the key he had mentioned and went on to begin investigating the rest of the castle. Considering everyone was still in the process of eating, I figured it would be easier to pilfer the more valuable items without interruption.

I had to dodge a few of the castle's caretakers but I managed to have Spark pilfer a roll and a banana sitting in the drawer of some study. We came to a small bedroom with a bright green tropical bird that would not shut up about knowing where some treasure was, it kept repeating itself over and over and over, it was maddening! I saw a hard oaken gavel near a wall and quickly grabbed, swung around and clocked the bird in the skull. Amazingly the bird was not phased, but it did change its speech and disclosed what sounded like the nautical coordinates of the treasure it had previously spoken of. I jotted toe coordinates (169 South, 28 East) down and continued my pilfering. Spark took a stack of pancakes sitting on the floor (what a sick, sick child, but at least he knew his place), while I spotted a jar of sleeping powder on a nearby shelf, I quickly pocketed it when I noticed a small keg sitting in the corner of the room. It wasn't like the normal barrels I'd seen down in Trinsic, it was smaller and quite heavy. I realized after seeing dark powder around the floor beneath it and the smell in the air that it was gun powder, a full keg of gun powder. What this was doing in a bedroom I couldn't fathom and didn't want to know, all I knew was that I must have it! Somehow Iolo managed to stuff the whole thing in his pack, I still don't get how he did it, by all rights it shouldn't have fit, but he managed it, and so we moved on.

We found a busy nursury in the middle of the castle with a throng of little brats sleeping, whining, screaming and crying. I nearly strangled one of them until I spotted Spark pocketing a dirty diaper from the waste bin! Still shocked, I just stared and watched him, when I pulled myself together I realized he had taken to changing three small babies and pocketing their dirty diapers as well! Spark was a disgusting child and so I found it acceptable to kick him hard, he yelped but stood his ground. I pushed no further understanding that Spark had problems that I couldn't begin to fathom, I would further his beatings at a later, less horrifying time. When I turned around I noticed a small varment on the ground, a mouse of all things with an odd ribbon around its neck! The vile thing was a pet of these bastard children... then the thing spoke! The thing seemed to know me and then a shred of my past came rushing to my conscious, the mouse was Sherry, Sherry the Mouse! She had helped me pilfer many items in previous long lost adventures in this land, she would also be spared.

This is beyond disturbing...

Night fell quickly and so we rushed to the next room, the kitchen. I ordered Spark to start collecting the food sitting out and went to investigating further when sick realization set upon me like lightning, Spark had stored dirty diaper playthings in the same pack as our food!! That set of a chain reaction of violent synapses in my mind and I immediately decended on Spark, beating him unmercifully. So I thought, for some unknown reason, I couldn't raise my arms to the boy, yet I had seething hatred for him. Clearly a limit of this world, so I got creative, fished out the vial of green ichor I had retrieved from the idiot boy in Paws and forced Spark to consume it. He choked the poison down, shook violently and then calmed. I feared the child might rage, but he didn't, I only noticed his muscles beginning to bulge pulling his clothes tight, he looked as if he had just gained fifty pounds of muscle! His dimeanor altogether changed as well, he seemed more aware, more sharp.

The effects of the venom were evident, they had turned Spark into three times what he had been, stronger, faster, more intelligent! My anger having passed and Spark still wallowing in his shame, I quickly ran back to the kings room having noticed a small switch tucked towards the back of the room. I flipped it which opened hidden doors to passageways that traveled around the area of the castle. Following these we made our way to the roof of the castle and made it to the storeroom previously mentioned by Lord British. Finally, we had found what we had come for. I unlocked the room and immediately started pillaging, the old goat had even supplied me with my own cask of ale!

Locking up Spark had crossed my mind.

The king had provided me with a good amount of basic ammenities, but above all he had left me magic plate boots that glowed a blue hue. I took of my swamp boots and tossed them to Iolo, and equipped the magic glowing boots. An old spellbook with spells included was on the floor and a bag of reagents accompanied it nearby. Now I felt truly powerful, at my beck and call I had a spell of Fire Blast! I shot Spark an evil glance and pointed to the spell, the child was visibly frightened to say the least. I ordered my two dolts to pick up everything of use, that being a crate of food items, a small stack of gold and a shield that had seen the uglier side of war. However, the realization of the limits of this forsaken land were becoming evident! We could not physically carry anymore more in our bags. Not an hour earlier Iolo stuffed an entire keg of powder in his backpack, but I hadn't the room or strength to hold the bag of reagents!! Blast! Without further hesitation I decided we would load up any extras into the crate and barrel and then move these to the horse and carriage for mobile access. I was beginning to realize we would need some kind of safehouse before too long, I'll be keeping my eyes out for anything would suit my devious needs. At least I knew our food would be safe from the fecal infested pockets and bags of Spark, the child was becoming less reliable, but not altogether useless, yet...

We quickly stacked the crate and barrel on the horse and carriage and then we ran back up to the roof to investigate the other towers of the castle. One was apparently a makeshift prison, a man, Westin was locked up being locked up for stealing appels from the royal orchards... anyone caught in the act of stealing fruit should sure as damn well pay for their stupidity. Here I just lifted an entire castle of valuables without anyone batting an eye and this fool gets caught pulling an apple off a tree!! Haha, serves him right! The begger continued his groveling, while the nearby guard kept hammering everything he said. The begger tried all the basics, blame it on the guy who caught him, blame it on society, blame it on his being poor, all the typical nonsense you get from these bottom feeders. Eventually the man asked if I would go and speak with Lord British about his situation... 'Hell no!' I said. The guard seemed as angry as me so I figured it was nothing to try testing my magical prowess with a Fire Blast on the begger. I figured since he was caged he shouldn't be hard to hit, but it was still more of a challange than some wooden target, and more entertaining. I filched the required reagents from my pocket, uttered the phrase, 'Vas Flan', and immediately a ball of fire appeared out of the air and sailed towards the prisoner, just as he was going to sit. The fire reached him and singed a hole in the back of his shirt, sending him up and off the chair in pain. The jackass called for the guards and two of them descended on me like ravenous rats!! Smart enough to know when to flee, I grabbed my things ran to the next tower of the castle, we had to pillage quickly! The southeast tower was apparently some guard quarters, containing nothing of value, but the tower north of that was a site to behold. A full suite of platemail lay on a table just beyond the barred window. I scanned the room quickly but couldn't find an entrance, which got me thinking about the castle's hidden levers... Stashed behind another useful barrel and create we found a lever that didn't appear to open anything around us, but a skidding of stone could be heard faintly, that had to be it. I had Spark and Iolo take the crate and barrel back to the carraige while I pilfered the armor. I eyed an old musket on the shelf and grabbed it, figuring the lead balls would spin through the flesh of the poor quite nicely.

Mr. Bojangles, the badass.

Having fully lifted everything worth my time from the castle we loaded up and headed out. Quickly losing track of my current task, I remembered what the king had said of the mad Rudyom character over in Cove. I thought I would pay him a visit, figuring a mad mage must have many useful items and if anything else, should be able to help me obtain stronger magical spells. Fire Blast hadn't taken down the prisoner at all and had given him time to call forth the guards. I needed something far deadlier and sinister to carry out my wickedness.

Night had fallen, so the traffic around town was light, we should make it to Cove before daylight hit, likely giving us enough time to 'borrow' everything from Rudyom the mad mage. Passing along to the east of Britain the way of Cove, Spark began whining about being sleepy. About the same time I noticed another one of the moongates shimmering off the path, a blue shimmer not too different from my recently obtained magical boots. I was drawn to the light and felt compelled to step through, ignoring the tired wails of the child. I knew this had ended in distress and annoyance last time, but I felt compelled as if tugged by some deity. Understanding the possibilities I gathered all the items that might possibly be needed and stepped into the blue abyss.

Chapter 4