I said come left Dupre, LEFT!
I, your Lord Mr. Bojangles have arrived! After the great job I did to navigate us to the Serpent Pillars, the boneheaded Dupre (who must've been hitting the bottle when I wasn't looking) managed to run my boat aground! I shall see this man flogged! Iolo, the senile old goat, claims that the ship (MY ship scatterbrains!) took flight. He must've been partaking in the alcohol as well and took up for Dupre. I'll have to keep my eye on those two. Iolo immediatly begins to whine about the cold and his wife rather than see to his duty's. This is going to be one long trip.
I said come left Dupre, LEFT!
Seeing as how I was the only member of my party with functioning brain cells (Shamino, the moron, is still standing in one spot mouth agape like todays fresh catch) I immediatly took charge and inventoried our gear. I was decked out in my usual Magic Armor ensamble: boots, leggings, breastplate, gloves, helm and shield; the works. Upon my back was strapped my Demon-possesed longsword (never mess with a demon in a big sword). From my belt hung the choice of assassins everywhere, the one hitter quitter; the glass sword. My spell book was in hand ready to rain death and destruction on all who opposed my will. In my pack was money (whoo!), a scroll from Lord British (i'll read that later), the wand of Rudyom, and a serpent carved from Blackrock.
Now for the other fools. Iolo, the degenerate apparently pawned off his breastplate, because the fool is only wearing his chain leggings, boots and a stupid leather helm. He is still armed with his trusty crossbow, firing magic bolts, but alot of good it will do him if anyone gets close enough to stab him. A quick peek in his pack confirms that he is an idiot, the man has many torches which is all and good, yet he's carrying a pair of leather pants and his damned lute! Dupre is similarly clad with no breastplate. He does however have the sense to wear gauntlets and a kidney belt..and the stupid leather cap. He is sporting a nice shield, aptly named "Dupre's shield" (how arrogant). In his hand is Magebane, the..well..bane of..mages..yeah...everywhere. Looking into his pack also confirms my suspicions, he has gold and a bottle of some fowl smelling brew. The man truly was drunk at the helm. Justice shall be done! Shamino is carrying his trademark Magic Bow with Burst Arrows, which are designed to explode on impact, very nice. He has a two handed hammer strapped to his back, and little in his pack. The fool is also lacking any serious armor, wearing leather leggins and a mail coif. The trio must've had a bad night at the gambling table in Buc's Den before we left, I could care less if they loose their own gear, but at the expense of the mission? Blood will be shed.
My three idot companions
Confidant in my ability to execute the my entire crew the moment they decide to mutiny, or demonstrate further insolence, I lead this gaggle of fools south along the coast looking for civilization. Suddenly out of nowhere a storm brews with multicolored lighting striking all around. Gathering my thoughts I look around me. My companions are gone! The fools have deserted me in fear of the strom. Their penalty will be death! I begin to sprint back to the ship to execute my hapless crew before they can make off with my only way off this rock when a bolt of lightning strikes my body filling me with agony. As I near the ship and get ready to send my treacherous crew to the Abyss, I realize that in my hand where once was my spell book is now a piece of pumice! I reach back for the Demon-blade to find it missing as well, a further empty grasp for my glass sword reveals it is no longer there! In a panic I open my pack to find various usless tools where once was my instruments of death! I've been robbed! Somebody's going pay, they will all pay! The ship however, is deserted.
Weaponless and in a berzerker rage, I charge south, past a decrepit old dock when out of nowhere a hooded woman appears as if teleported in by magic. She must know where my beloved weapons have gone, as well as my un-beloved companions. Before I can interrogate her she begins to ask the stupidest of questions concerning things such as regents, and words of power. I quickly answer them so that I might finally speak. Satisfied with my answers she gives me an glowing hourglass and claims that through it the monks of Xenka can aid me (wow, not bad for having just met the witch).
Hellooo nurse!
The woman begins to answer my questions with the typical end-of-the-world-only-one-person-can-save-us drivel common to most doomsday cults, until in her ramblings she mentions the storms. According to her the storms have the power to kill, transform, and a teleport. Thinking back to the lightning strikes, it appears that the garbage I currently carry was teleported into my back, meaning that my treasured weapons are currently occupying the home of the trash I possess now. Maybe my moronic companions have been teleported as well. Asking her more about the hourglass, she tells me that shall I perish (fat chance lady) I shall be ressurected at her monestary, and if any of my companions die (likely by my own hand) using the hourglass will summon a monk to raise them from the grave, making them my loyal servents beyond death! For this I am greatful. She further points out a cave to the south where I might find additional assistance, and tells me that I must find my companions (blast!) to save the world, as well as a ring, earrings and a necklace. In the few minutes I've known this woman she has proven far more useful than the pissants that have abandoned me. I thank her (with a wink and a smile) and get ready to leave.
Yet lo and behold before I can leave the entrancing witch out of nowhere appears another monk, this one male. This could be bad, in my unarmed state a jealous man will find me a much easier target for his rath. Before I can profess my innocence he begins sceaming at the woman about how she has interfeared with fate and that has doomed us all (or something like that). Trying to score some points with the witch I begin to move to her side when she surrounds me in a ring of fire! She claims its for my own protection (as if I need it!) as she doesn't want to see me harmed in the crossfire between the other monk and she. Their domestic squabble errupts into a duel of fire and lightning. Being trapped in the fire, all I could do was sit back and enjoy the show. The witch gets the better of the monk, yet before he disappears he warns me that my companions will bring will bring misery and despair (they already have...). Before I can exit the ring of fire, the witch leaves as the flames around me die. Allowing me to press further south.
Not a mile down the coast I run into Shamino, possibly the least dunderheaded of my companions. He claims to have been teleported by the storms and that like myself, all his gear has gone missing. Seeing the skeptical look on my face he shows me the items in hand that have replaced his magic bow and burst arrows; a bear skull and an odd hairbrush. How odd. I also noted the man wearing woman's slippers where earlier he was wearing swamp boots. As I prepare to ridicule him for his dressing habits he points to my head. Reaching up expecting to feel the cold steel of my magic helm, I find a woman's fur cap resting on my skull. This is embarassing. The fool makes himself useful and inventories the garbage we now carry.
Crap we now have
With Shamino in tow I found the cave the witch-monk spoke of. Inside I found some lockpicks, torches, and a bedroll. Shamino chimed in about how useful such things would be, like I didn't know. I quickly backhanded him and silenced his wagging tounge. Feeling a draft from the back of the cave, I searched and found an illusionary section of wall which refused to support my weight and I tumbled through. Threatening Shamino with unspeakable tourture I picked myself up and took note of my surroundings. Inside was some kind of Ankh-altar, a locked (not for long) chest, and a dessicated corpse! Next to the corpse was an old scroll, quickly reading it, hoping for the location of long lost treasure, I was disappointed to find more of that apocalyptic drivel that I quickly scanned over, not really paying attention. I'll read that later. I quickly attempted to pick the lock on the chest hoping to find something of value. Anticipation turned to anger as the ancinet picks that I aquired from the other chamber broke one after another. I lost it and struck the old chest with all my might. The rotted timber gave way to my rage and revealed a shiny new sword and shield. The sword I took for myself, and the shield I gave to Shamino hoping that he'd have the brains to use it to stay alive (I still have my magic shield, my companions get my cast-offs). Having sufficiently looted the caveren I went outside.
Just outside of the hidden cave, laid a bear skeleton. In place of the skull was a magic bow! What a find! Shamino immediatly piped up that the bow on the ground was his! He claimed that since he was in possesion of the bear skull the bow belonged to him. I stated that since he was the idiot that lost it, I shall be the one to take possesion. He opened his mouth to protest, and I just lost it...
When Mr. Bojangles gets upset...people DIE!!!
When the red left my field of vision, Shamino was on the ground in a bloody pool. Well serves the ingrate right. I picked up the bow and prepared to leave Shamino's body to rot when the witch's last words echoed in my mind about needing my companions to save the world. Realizing that my dreams of ruling the world will not come to pass if the world is destroyed, I remembered to use the hourglass that was given to me, hoping the witch didn't lie about bringing my companions back to life. Sure enough she arrived when called (such service!) and promptly brought Shamino back from the dead. Before I could hit on her some more she vanished into thin air. Shamino seemed to have no recollection of my slaying him and followed me like the loyal servant he should have been earlier. This hourglass shall never leave my side, now my discipline shall be frequently enforced with no repercussions.
Immediatly after the execution and following resurrection, we continued onward down the coast. We were suddenly charged by a wolf, who must've been drawn to the smell of Shamino's blood. Quickly readying our weapons we dispatched the furry canine. Shamino suffered a wound to his chest (serves him right for loosing his breastplate). He continued to whine as I found a recently slain boar and began harvesting hams for my victory feast. Shamino continued to complain as I consumed the swine filling my belly and topped it off with a bottle of something vile that I found in my pack. Off in the distance I saw the walls of a city and made my way toward it.....