Well-dressed, well-armed, well-funded. Somebody mess with me now!
Well-dressed, well-armed, well-funded. Somebody mess with me now!
Greetings again from your Lord and Master, Mr. Bojangles. As the more intellegent of you might have noticed, Mr. Bojangles and Crew are sporting some new gear. Now I can hear some of you saying, "Heavens no! We've missed a chapter! All is lost! I can't go on living until I find out how Lord Bojangles has pilfered such marvelous swag" Fear not my faithful followers, I shall explain. As I was sleeping off the exertions detailed in the previous chapter (the trial, the looting, embarassing Luthor, and my conquest of the barmaid) a Monk came to me in my sleep. He whisked me and my compainions away to some fortress in the middle of nowhere where I was tasked with playing the "Champion of Balance", overcoming some challenges and planting a tree of all things. After dealing with endless mazes, mummies, dragons, daemons and mad witches Your Hero planted the Silver Seed that grew a Silver Tree and came away victorious and with some great gear to boot. I shall list the best of my plunder
My New Toys
The stairs lead me down into a cave, where I am promptly attacked by a few rats that I crush benieth my mighty heel. I follow the passage north when I come to a fork in the path. I decide to go west, following the path until I reach a locked door. The key I got from the chest earlier opens it up without issue and I step into a massive chamber with switches all over the place. Damn, this could be a headache.
Great now what do I do?
Not wanting to waste my time with the switches, I move to the chests on the far wall. Taking a cue from my earlier mishap with an exploding chest, I order Iolo to pick one and open it. While I and the rest of my party hide behind the corner Iolo pipes up that he opened it up and has found a map and a key. I make my way to him, shove him out of the way and snatch up the goods. The key goes on the ring, and I look at the map. It turns out to be for someplace in the far north, juding by the name Glacier Mountains. I shall keep this until I make it up that way. Not wanting to screw with the other chests I make my way back around to the other side of the chamber. What do I find tucked in the north wall, but an invisible chest. I quickly open it up with no reguard for my own safety and find two spell scrolls: False Gold (a must for counterfieting) and Mass Cure (for when everyone gets poisoned). There's also money in a small bag. I'm hoping this isn't the treasure. If so, Silverpate wasn't a very good pirate. I go back to the fork in the road and take the path leading east this time. I crush yet another rat, and find another illusionary wall. Making my way through I find find a multiple eyed creature that flings magic at me. Before my compainions have a chance to strike I slice the beast in two with my new Ax. In the room is a chest, which I pick open with ease thanks to my new gauntlets and find another map, a key (wich opens the brass door to my right) and a scroll with the Explosion spell on it. I open the brass door and find a teleporter. Despite the cowardly warnings of my compainions I step on it praying that it leads me to treasure.
After a moment of disorientation, my senses clear and I find myself back in the Sleeping Bull Inn! Of all the wastes of time! Disgusted, I make my way north to the tower to bargain for Captain Hawk's freedom and a ride to Moonshade. I reach the tower and hail the first Pikeman I see. He rudely demands I state my business (and calls me knave of all things), apparently not caring that I am also a knight. I demand that he free Captain Hawk. He states that he will release him for a fee of 100 Monitari. Pocket change! I laugh it off and offer the money. The bastard refuses to accept it and asks what else I have. He refuses to take gems, Filari, and Guilders. I'm tempted to ask if he'll accept steel, as in the magically reinforced steel that will sever his head from his body! Agitated I leave him be, and head back to the Inn for answers. I barge into the Inn, hoping a drink might lessen my murderous rage when a blone haired beauty steps up and asks if she might help me with my search for finances to free Hawk. I indulge her. She says her name is Selina and she has a key to a building to the north that holds great riches. She asks to join me and make both of us richer than our wildest dreams. I agree, but then she asks if maybe I should leave my other compainions behind, for their own saftey. Remembering the last blonde woman I met tried to poison me, I tell her that my faithful servants will follow. Now that I think of it, she does bear a striking resemblance to Lydia, the tattoo artist dead by my own hand....
And then there were 5
I don't quite trust this woman, but I'm willing to give her the chance to prove herself. We march north to the strange building, five strong. She leads us to a building in the middle of nowhere that bears a striking resemblance to the old Bank of Britan. I use the key she has supplied on the locked door and make my way in. I am greeted by piles of gold coin and gold bars. I quickly grab all I can, and need Dupre to carry the burden of lugging around the heavy gold bars. This should be enough for the vile pikeman to free Hawk. In the midst of my looting magic rains down from above as I am teleported to a different room in the building. My party is seperated and all of a sudden monsters in the form of headlesses, trolls, and ghosts attack my party. I wade through the carnage and grab all I can, stopping to behead a troll on my way back to the front door. My compainions follow and we escape that death trap. We start on our way back to Sleeping Bull when out of nowhere we are ambushed by not monsters but men, armed to the teeth and coming for me. Selina says she will meet me at the back at the Inn and teleports away. The cowardly wench! I shall deal with her after I deal with these brigands. Iolo is already dropping some with his crossbow, Shamino cuts out another's heart with his Magic Sword, and Dupre cleaves another with his Halberd. I finish off the last of them with my ax, and we promptly loot the bodies. On one I find a scroll ordering my death signed by none other than Batlin himself. So he is behind this eh? One day I shall find that pig and roast the fat off of his boated flesh. On another assassin I find a magical Sword of Defence. I give this to Shamino to carry and we make our way back to the BUll, we have a coward to slay!
Another botched hit. Next time send more hit men. Selina is next!
When I reach the Inn Selina is nowhere to be found. The patrons haven't seen her either. I have a feeling she set me up. Nevertheless, my blade shall taste her flesh in due time. Now I guess its time I bail out Hawk. The thieving Pikemen accept a payment in one gold bar. I am given a key to Hawk's cell and I release him. He kindly invites me back to the Inn to share a drink with him and I oblige, first stopping by to see Devra to exchange some of the gold I've snached on my most recent adventure. Next order of buisiness, talk to Captain Hawk and get passage to Moonshade. He's obviously been celebrating his freedom quit seriously, as the man reaks of spirits. In his ramblings he tells me of his 3 passengers on his trip from Moonshade to Sleeping Bull. Turns out one of his other passengers was Selina, who had sailed earlier with Batlin. The harlot did set me up! He then shows me the parrot named Ale who lives in the Bull's tavern. Apparently the avian can drink most men under the table, and curse too. Sounds like my kind of pet. I ask if its for sale, but it appears that they'd rather keep him around to entertain customers. I think I have an idea for later. I ask Captain Hawk when he can sail me to Moonshade, and he tells me to meet him at the dock. Well guess I better try that idea out now. I make my way back into the middle of the tavern and proclaim in a loud voice that my compainion, Dupre, will outdrink Ale. I then begin to take bets as Dupre embraces me in thanks for actually letting him partake in some drunken shenanigans. The patrons, almost to the man, place their bets on Ale, not knowing how much of a degenerate lush Dupre is. They start out shot for shot and continue pounding drinks until the parrot can barely stand. The drinking continues with Dupre rambling on about kings and cabbages until finally the parrot wretches up the contents of its gizzard, and passes out stone drunk. I quickly collect the money won in the gambling and make my way to the docks before someone takes offence.
Unable to hold its liquer, the Ale the Drinking Parrot submits to Dupre's iron gut as I look on in disgust.
We make our way to the docks and board Hawk's boat, as Dupre, fresh from his victory over Ale, passes out in the cargo hold. Hawk soon follows with Kane and Flindo. We pull away from the dock, and it looks like Hawk failed to check the weather as my watchful eyes spot a storm on the horizon. Well, I need magic so damn the lightning and full speed ahead! After an hour or so into our trip, I notice Ale has made his way aboard in its drunken stupor and is now singing a horrible sea shanty that the rest of the crew seems compelled to sing along with. There may just be a mutiny in the future if this keeps up. Before my anger rises any further, the storm is upon us. The ship is tossed about like a cork, multi-colored lightning crashes all around us and Hawk looses control of the vessel and runs us aground on a strange beach. Not again....
De ja vu......
Hawk informs us that we have indeed made it to the isle upon which Moonshade rests. I gather up my drunken and sea-sick cronies and make my north. Hawk hollars to me that if I should need him, I can find him at the Blue Boar Inn, doubtless drunk and chasing wenches. We move on, coming to a tree surrounded by bones, decaying flesh and the stench of death. Before I can get any closer two winged dirty wild woman fly from the branches, thier talons poised to strike at my heart. The first flying crone is dispatched with my ax, the other, seeing that we won't be an easy meal, attempts to fly off before being grounded by a well placed shot from Iolo's crossbow. She is quickly executed by Shamino's sword. We search both fresh corpes, and those rotting at the base of the great tree to find nothing of value. We press on. We climb up some stairs that lead us over a wall, doubtless the wall that defends Moonshade from outside attack. No doubt these mages must be powerful, as not one guard is in sight. Upon reaching the first building in Moonshade I do as I always do when entering a new city, barge in and begin looking for loot! Turns out the rather large building is a winery. Dupre cracks a smile and begins to drool as I make my way in, ignoring the occupants searching for goods. I find little of value, aside from an Enchant Missle spell scroll, and I notice that all those working in the winery appear to be rangers, rugged outdoorsmen with skill in the art of the bow. I continue to make my way from building to building, looting all that I can and speaking to no one as I do. Several hours later I must admit, aside from a few spell scrolls, I come up lacking in the loot department, many houses are locked even beyond my capabilities to open, and everywhere are these walking artificial men made of metal eyeing me with dark eyes. Moonshade looks to be a tough nut to crack, but fear not, I shall plunder this village like I have plundered all before. Maybe first I need to make contact with the natives.
I decide to seek out the oaf Flindo, and see how connected he really is. The fat swine tells me of the mages who make Moonshade home, and about a Mad Mage that lives in an island just off the coast. He also tells me of a Seminarium, where they train new mages. Maybe they have a spellbook I can "acquire". I bid the fat man goodbye, and make him swear on his usless life to get me an audience with the Magelord, Filbercio. He stammers out that it make day a day or so. I tell him that's ok, just make it happen as I storm out the door. I find what appears to be some kind of school, this must be the Seminarium the bloated one spoke of. I stop an exquisetly dressed woman who happened to be passing by to ask her if this is indeed the place. The arrogant snob blows me off, claiming that I must have her mistaken for someone else, as she is a mage and I am but a lowly Mundane. Lowly Mundane! I'll show this conceited harlot who's lowly! I go to draw my ax yet am unable to make my arm respond. The woman's eyes glow blue as my arm begins to frost over. Dupre and Shamino pull me away before things get worse as the woman laughs and continues on her journey. As my arm thaws, I realize that I must get my magic back, and teach these arrogant mages who has the real power. Gathering my composure I walk large iron doors into the Seminarium. The place is crawling with little demons! No wait, they're children. Pushing my way through them I approach the adult who appears to be in charge of this mess. The man's name is Fedabiblio and he's the Magister (fancy name for headmaster) of the Moonshade School of Magic. I demand he give me a spell book, and rather than give me grief, he asks for three Mandrake roots. Well hell, I got three of those in my bag. I try to trade them off, but he states that he needs fresh roots, picked from Monk Isle (home of those crazy monks) at low tide. Well this isn't a bad deal, go pick some plants and get a spell book, how hard can it be? Now how the hell do I get to Monk Isle? Deciding to go ask around I make my way into a large house built into the side of a mountain. Inside I meet a pale, gaunt looking fellow dressed all in black. His name is Mortegro the Necromage, master of death magic and spirits of the dead. As I ask him to explain further I notice Shamino gazing off in random directions rather strangely. He claims to speak to the dead, which I ask for immediate proof of, rather than evade my suspicions, he summons forth the ghost of Christopher, the blacksmith of Trinsic (a town back in Britannia) who's gruesome murder led me on my last big adventure (aka The Black Gate). Wow, most impressive. Christopher's ghost thanks me for breaking the Fellowship's hold over Britannia and "taking care of" his son, Spark (damn him for reminding me of that boy!). He then tries to give me a warning but the Necromage passes out before he can give up the goods and the spirit drifts away. Pathetic, he should spend less time in this crypt and more time training his body to take such abuse. I revive the wretch with a swig of ale, Fawnish Ale and am suprised to see the talking corpse look-a-like sit straight up with no ill effects. I try to get him to make contact again, but he says he's too weak. Annoyed I turn and leave.
I make my way back outside to find one of those strange artificial men standing before me. I demand to know what it wants, and the walking statue speaks! I says that its a faithful servant (which I find out later to be called an Automaton) of the Red Witch Rotoluncia. He hands me a scroll that he says he is to deliver to me, and then walks away. Opening the scroll, I am suprised to see a womans face on the parchment, I'm even more taken aback when it starts speaking to me. She tells me not to fear for the scroll is magic and it won't hurt me, she even says that I'm some kind of barbarian who has no knowlage of things arcane. I'll show her. She identifies herself as Rotoluncia the Red Witch. Witch is right. She claims to be all powerful, and that she could teach me great things were I not a Mundane. Shamino pipes up that I am indeed not a Mundane and the Witch hears him through the scroll. She states that can't be a mage otherwise she would've sensed my power, then gets all paranoid thinking that I'm hiding it from her. She then informs me, in an attempt to impress me, that she's on the Council of Mages. Big deal; I go to close the scroll and the Witch tells me that she has met with Batlin, who she thinks is an ally of mine. She claims he was in company of a Daemon (most likely one of those horrible red-skinned Gargoyles) and tells me that if I give her the secrets of controlling them she will reward me with "power beyond thy comprehension". Sorry lady, I can comprehend a lot, and I don't believe you can grant me that much power. Just to torque her off I tell her I won't share my secrets. Before she can speak again I crumple up the scroll, jam open Shamino's mouth and shove it down his throat. The ingrate likes to speak out of turn so much, maybe he'll take the time to digest this before speaking unbidden again. He takes his punishment without a word as Iolo and Dupre watch and learn the consequences of insolence. For some reason I smell the faint odor of death and decay. I figure it's the stench of the Necromage's crypt slash home following me outdoors and am sure it will disappear with time and fresh air. Tiring of wandering about this city aimlessly, I find the house of Flindo, awaken him from his slumber (it is now late into the night), and demand to know if he has arranged my meeting with the Magelord yet. He says that he has, and that I am to be summoned to a banquet held at the Magelord's manor. He also say's that by summoned, he means litteraly, I will be snatched off the street by magic. Guess Mr. Bigshot has to try and impress me somehow. I leave and seek to explore the city further. I notice a shop that is currently unattended by anyone. I move to sneak my way in and pilfer the goods when out of nowhere, I am whisked away by the wings of magic and appear in a large dining room with several mage looking types.
Dinner with the Mages, looks like a main course of Demon Head. Now someone give me a spellbook!
A mage dressed in blue seated at the head of the table welcomes me. He says his name is Filbercio and he is the Magelord. He introduces the other mages seated at the table, all of them members of the Council of Mages. First, Gustacio, an old man clad in all green, welcomes me and says that I may leave at anytime after dinner is concluded. Next the Red Witch Rotoluncia who, since we have already met takes a shot at Filbercio's lack of leadership. A sharp tounge on this one, I shall have to beware of her. Last to be introduced is, Frigidazzi, the Ice Mage, who according to local rumors is the Magelord's current mistress, she seems pleased to meet me, and I swear I see her eyes twinkle when she looks at me, she's definatly trouble. Dinner begins and conversation turns to the magic storms. Frigidazzi wonderis if my coming has something to do with them, the Magelord answers that I may be the one who can stop them. Immiediatly the Red Witch leaps to her feet and accuses me of being the one to cause the storms. Before I can even tell her crack-pot theory's are Gargoyle excrement the crazy witch shoots me with a fireball from her magic wand. The fire washes over my body as my chair is burnt to ashes below me, yet I am not even singed. When the flames clear I see Gustacio, hands glowing with power, belittling the Red Witch for treating me like a common criminal (they set their criminals on fire?). Looks like he is the one that saved my skin, perhaps he will help me regain my magic. The witch teleports out in a rage claiming she will have the last laugh. Must all my great banquets end so abruptly with violence? Before anyone speaks another mage enters the room. He informs the Magelord (in front of everyone, the moron) that his attempt to locate the regent known as bloodmoss have ended in failure. The Magelord is quite upset by this news threatening to throw this Pothos into the dungeon to be eaten by rats. Filbercio then apologizes for the short meal, and teleports away with Pothos. I must learn that trick. I then realize that the Magelord has just left me in his rather large, lavish house unsupervised, and we all know what that means...
Curse these blasted mages to the bottom of the Abyss! They leave nothing around unattended. How am I supposed to aquire anything of value in this accursed city. Do they expect me to acutally BUY something? But I digress. I wonder what got the Magelord so upset at Pothos? Perhaps Flindo will know. I sleep for several hours and go to his shop in the early morning. The fat one is not there, but his assistant Bucia is. Perhaps she knows something. I ask her about Pothos, the Apothecary, and she says that he bears a striking resemblence to the Mad Mage, a sorcerer of such power his magic drove him insane and into exile. Hmm, perhaps I can use this as leverage to get something of value out of him. Maybe I can get him to take me to the Mad Mage, and I can enlist his help in retrieving my power. As I go to leave I again notice the smell of death. There must be a dead rat in this shop somewhere. I leave the provisioner's and find Pothos in his shop. Without waiting for him to say anything I tell him I know about his father and that he had best set me up a meeting with him or I shall oust his secret to the entire town. Turns out he's quite scared of people finding out about his sire (the rumors are true!) and offers to tell me how to contact the Mad Mage if I'll only get some bloodmoss for him. Guess thats some good stuff, and the Magelord must want it real bad, because Pothos is basically begging me to get it for him. He says I can find it in the swamp thats at the southern end of the island before the Magelord sends him off to be rat feces. I agree (this guy is going to owe me big) and head south. The swamp was pretty easy to find. We found a path through the foul smelling bog that lead us to the center of the gurggling cesspool. There we found many pieces of bloodmoss. While harvesting, Iolo suddenly thought he saw his estranged wife Gwenno swimming in the putrid water. Before I could stop him the crazy old fool was waste deep in sludge! He must've had a moment of clearity because before he could get in any farther he turned and ran back to dry land. Ready to strike him dead and leave his body to pickle in the swampwater the moment he gets closer, my murderous thoughts are interrupted by a huge tentacle rising from the water and coming straight at me. Not wanting to waste time with Iolo, I expertly cleave the appendage in two and make my way out of the swamp. No sooner then we get to dry land Iolo appears sick; very sick. He begins to retch up blood and who knows what else, the swampwater must have poisoned him. For a moment I am tempted to allow him to slowly and painfully die, yet mercy guides my hand as I grab a potion that supposedly cures poison and force the old man to drink in between heaves. Once I'm satisfied the old man choked the red liquid all down and he appears to be feeling better, we make our way back to the city, stopping only to throw Iolo in the nearest fountain to wash off the stench of the swamp. He is clean, and yet a horrible stench still seems to follow me.
I find Pothos in his shop, toss the bloodmoon on the counter and demand he grant me an audience with the Mad Mage. He is overjoyed at being spared horrible punishment at the hands of the Magelord. He tells me that I will find a dock at the north end of the island where I must strike a bell to summon a giant sea creature that will take me to his fathers isle. I am also told to speak the password ("I skatradeeth" wow this guy is insane) to his father or I shall be struck dead before I can breathe another word. I thank him for the information, and remind him that he still owes me big and we're off again, this time heading north. Before we even make it to the edge of the city all of a sudden Dupre starts to convulse and suddenly disappear in field of magic. He's vanished without a trace! Someone does not want me to find this Mad Mage and further my power, as I am sure that the feared crazy one can help me reach Monk Isle so that I may earn me a spellbook. Not knowing who to ask as to where my drunken cohort might be, I go straight to the top of the Moonshade Magepile, the Magelord. I am disappointed to find that he is not in his castle. Frustrated, I think of who in this wretched city has the nerve to insult me so by attacking my underlings. Then it dawns on me, Rotoluncia, the Red Witch, not only demanded I tell her my secrets of power, but attempted to murder me in the Magelord's own house. I ask around and find where she lives. Tonight my ax will shed mage blood! I storm into her house only to find she is not home. One of her cursed Automatons demands to know what I'm doing here. I demand to know where she is, the talking contraption states that she is not here and is tending to business, I ask if that buisness is kidnapping. The Automaton stares blankly at me and suddenly tells me that I have to die. Whatever these things are, great warriors are not one of them. He is easly demolished and claims his mistress will avenge him as he finally goes down in a heap. She is next.
Who's time was it to die? Certainly not mine.
I loot her house, the other Automaton doing nothing to stop me. I find a spell scroll of paralyze and, in a bag, a serpents tooth. Now I had heard from other mages in this city that to prove their magely worth, the magic slingers break into the Mad Mages fortress and steal serpent teeth. Perhaps I can use this one to barter for something of value from the crazy mage. First I must find Dupre. Deciding to give the legal system a try I go speak to the head of the Rangers and slip her a 20 Guilder bribe to get me some information. I leave her sleep for a few hours and return. She then informs me that the Magelord will meet with me reguarding the case of Dupre's magical kidnapping. I find him at home (for once!) and tell him of the information I have so far. He then admits to me that the Red Witch may be holding Dupre hostage at a hidden "Love Palace" where he used to partake in the Red Wench. The palace is in the middle of the lake in the center of the island. He says the only way to reach it is to use the magic boat he has parked outside his palace. He then laments ever being with the whore and disappears, probably to go cry. Before he goes, he gives me authorization to deal with her as I see fit. Excellent, she shall have a date with my ax.
We find the boat where he says it is and take it to a small island on in the middle of the lake. We disembark, weapons drawn ready to kill our first Mage. We head upstairs first, finding no one. I search the dresser for evidence and find a key which I promptly take. Unfortunatly I also find a diaper, a bannana, a belt and a whip. Sick... I head downstairs to the basement. Well its more like a dungeon, with an Iron Maiden, thumbscrews, pliars, red hot pokers and a torture rack. I hear screams of pain as I decend the stairs. Sounds like Dupre, and it only drives my urge to kill even higher, not for any care for Dupre, but because there's nothing more enjoyable than justifiable homocide. I burst through the door, with help from the key I snagged upstairs. There is the Red Witch, zapping Dupre with lightning while 4 little purple demons rush Iolo and Shamino. The Witch says I must kill her to free Dupre...gladly! Magic fire flys from her wand striking Shamino in the chest he staggers back badly burned. I order Iolo to tend him as I drive my ax into the she-demon's heart. She dies before I can muster a second blow. Mages, heh, without their magic they are nothing! Not wanting to deal with looking at her, I throw her corpse into the fire pit and free Dupre from his cell.
Mages really aren't that tough. Who's having the last laugh now? See those thumbscrews Iolo...?
The teleporter in another cell takes us back to the Magelord's palace. That unpleasantness being done, we head north. We follow the coast of the island around a mountain range to the north coast. There we find a small dock with a large brass bell. This must be the place. I strike the bell and from the waters rises a huge Sea Turtle. Guess thats our ride. We step on the back of the beast's shell and it swims away from the pier. I notice that the best eye's Iolo strangely. He must've noticed to and he tries to strike up a conversation with obviously non-intellegent creature. Well now that I think about it, Iolo's not too intellegent either, so for all I know the beast understands him. Not long after we arrive at another small dock. This must be the Isle of the Mad Mage.
Arriving in style
As we approach the one large building on the island, I notice something squirming on the ground near the front door. Thinking its a snake I draw my ax ready to strike it dead before it has the chance to attack us. Imagine my disgust when I see that it is not a snake but in fact a severed yet wiggling human arm! While still appauled by this, a chicken flys out of nowhere and begins to pick at it. Truly the mage who lives here is evily insane. I then remember one of the useless items that was exchanged for our gear back when we arrived in this hellhole of an Isle was a moving severed hand. Perhaps we will find a piece of our gear here. Steeling myself for the horrible sights that surely await me, I enter the home of the Mad Mage. The place is something out of a nightmare. Several still wiggling bodyparts litter the floor, a flock of chickens fly around cauldrons filled with bubbling liquid. On the back table a severed head is talking to itself, and there's some huge contraption in the back corner that does only ghost knows what. Running around is a grey-haired mage, surely the Mad One, and in the corner is some kind of grotesque human sleeping on a filthy bed. The air smells of rotting flesh, chemicals, and chicken waste. This place is insane.
The house of insanity. Maybe I should leave Iolo here.
I finally work up the courage to speak to the Mad Mage. The first thing that comes out of my mouth is the password, "I skatradeeth". He looks confused, then tells me that he will speak to me and not tear me limb from limb and feed my entrails to the whales. Whew, glad thats out of the way. He tells me his name is Erstam and that he's researching immortality. He also tells me that in his quest to discover mastery over Death he has slain many assistants and tells me I would do well not to upset him. Yeah kinda figured that from the friggin body parts lying around. I ask him to help me achieve power or at least get me to Monk Isle through some teleportation magic and he about flips out and tells me to never mention teleportation again. He then goes on rambling and I go question his assistant when he's not paying attention to me. His assitant, Vasel, is a grotesque looking hunchback worried that I will constantly hit him. I just may do that if he does not give me the information that I need. He tells me of the old "helpers" who have ended up in bits and pieces. I then ask him if Erstam posseses any magic items that can teleport me to Monk Isle. I am suprised when the wretch says that he has a magic serpent jawbone that allows instantainious teleportation. I must have this. I'll ask Erstam about it in a second, but first I want to go talk to the talking head on the far table. It says its name is Boydon, and that he is the latest in a long line of Erstam's quest to both create life, and unlock the secrets of immortality. He doesn't have much else to say, aside from how easy the "life" of a severed head is. I leave him and go ask Erstam about the magic Serpent Jawbone. Boy is he pissed I mentioned it. He promises that Vasel will be punished for mentioning it and says that he won't give it up, even under extreme torture. I ask him if there is any way I can earn it from him and a smile crosses the crazy mages face. He says if I go to a cave in the northern part of his island and retrieve an egg of a Phoenix for him he will trade me the Jawbone for it. I agree, and no sooner than the words come out of my mouth, I and my compainions are wisked away by magic and find ourselves in a cave.
We fight our way through the caves, slaying several green skinned humanoids in our efforts to find the Phoenix. We eventually find ourselves in a room of fire and lava, with a dead bird lying in the center of it. That can't be good, if thats the Phoenix how am I supposed to get an egg from a dead bird? There is a switch on the wall, and like any great adventurer I have Dupre throw it. Flames rise up from the ground and the dead bird comes to life! It thanks me and offers me a token of its gratitude. I accept and the bird gives me a firery egg. Wow, that was easy! I bid it goodbye and we find a teleporter that takes us back to Erstam's shop of horrors. I talk to Erstam and tell him that I have the egg. Before he'll give me the Jawbone, he asks that I help him complete his experiment by collecting two arms, two legs, a torso and a head and tossing them in his infernal machine the "Assimilator" along with the Phoenix egg. Shamino immidiatly volenteers to go pick up the body parts and gets to work. Odd, he's never usually that energetic. He gathers up the required parts (Boydon, the talking head won't stop blabbering even as he's put in a backpack) and tosses them (Boydon still talking) in the top of the machine, smiling the whole time. I toss the egg in, and the machine fires up. A small door opens at the base and out walks Boydon, with a whole body. The Mad Mage has done it, he has created life (with my help of course). He's extremely excited and gives me a key to his storeroom and a tooth for the Jawbone, then begins poking and prodding Boydon as I walk away, but not before he gives me a few Teeth that go in the Jawbone, and instructs me on its use. Boydon offers to join my party, and he looks like he'd make a good grunt, but I can not be preoccupied with feeding and equipping another at this time. I shall return later though and put him to good use. I find the jawbone in the storage shed as promised, along with what Erstam described to me as a Serpent Gate. Turns out that certain Teeth, when placed in the Jawbone will allow me to walk the serpent road to a far off destination. I'm guessing one of the teeth leads me to Monk Isle. Not knowing which tooth does what, I place them all in the Jawbone and step onto the Serpent Gate.
The Serpent Road, well lit, and about to be well traveled. To Monk Isle I go!
I navigate the Serpent Road to find my way to Monk Isle. This is where I can find the Mandrake Roots, and bring my road to magic to a close. We arrive a cavern-like basement of what must be the monestary, and like always I find my way around and pick up anything of value that I see. These Monks must have taken a vow of poverty as they have nothing worth stealing. I find an acolyte monk and ask him where to find fresh mandrake. He tells me that I may find them in the swamp on the north side of Monk Isle when the tide is low. He says its not time for low tide yet, but he will inform me when it is. I try to kill the time constructively, but Monk Isle is one boring place. Half the Monks have taken vows of silence and don't speak. I looked around for Thoxa, the good looking blonde monk that I met when I first arrived at Serpent Isle, but she was apparently busy working on something, as I could not find her. So I killed several hours reading in the library, hoping to find more secrets of power. Turns out all they had was philisophical crap and nothing of value to me. Finally, I am told the tide has receded and I make my way to the swamp and pick fresh Mandrake. I grab all I can find and make my way back to the Serpent Gate and head back to Moonshade. My power is so near I can nearly taste it.
I arrive in Moonshade and seek out Fedabiblio. He takes the Mandrake root, and gives me my spellbook. I notice that an included spell is one that allows me to transcribe the spells on the various scrolls I have collected into my book. I spend the next 24 hours transcribing all the scrolls giving me a good starting selection of spells. Now that I am not a pathetic "Mundane" I shall spend my ill gotten Guilders on more spells. The power grows. I spend the next several days purchasing spells and using my power to find my way into the storerooms of the several mages. I come away with more magical weapons and more money than ever. Life is good.
Power is now mine!!!
I've purchased spells from all the mages except one, Frigidazzi, the beautiful Ice Mage. Yet as I head to her house the wretched stench of death overcomes me. I retch up my lunch along with Dupre and Iolo. Shamino, suprisingly, seems fine and for the first time I notice the stench of death is emminating from his backpack. Ignoring his protests I open his pack and find a large bag with flies buzzing around it. Plugging my nose I open the sack and even I am disgusted with what I find...
Shamino seems to have a sick obsession with the dead. Well only one way to cure that...
Looks like Shamino has fetish for body parts. Fresh, rotted, skeletal, he doesn't seem to care. What kind of sick freak carries around the parts of several dead bodies? Not much disgusts me but this takes the cake. Well time for some spell practice. I take his bag, dump the contents at his feet and tell Shamino to stand where he is with his eyes closed. I gather the rest of my compainions and step a safe distance away. I pick the spell, Swordstrike, that sounds like fun. I speak the words of magic and whirling blades jump from my fingertips. They surround Shamino and begin cutting. It takes a good 5 minutes for him to die screaming from a thousand cuts from the swords, meanwhile Iolo and Durpre look on in terror. I like this spell, think I'll bookmark it.
The corpse collector has now become one, how poetic.
I use the Hourglass to bring him back to life, and as usual, he has no recollection of the suffering I have inflicted. I'll definatly have to keep an eye on him, and make sure he doesn't pull this vile stunt again. We continue on to Frigidazzi's. We find her place, and they don't call her the Ice Mage for nothing. Its damn cold in here. Part of her place has ice on the walls, and yet she's still walking around in that tight...little..dress... Anyways, she greets me with a "Hello Handsome" and obviously is impressed with my sense of style (compared to her lover, Filbercio, thats not too hard). We make idle chit chat about her Batlin sighting on the island when a female goblin walks into the room! I prepare for battle but the Ice Lady puts a (very warm) hand on my arm and tells me not to worry, she is "tame" and is her servant. Such strange tastes this woman has, with the Magelord keeping her bed and a wretched goblin keeping her house. She begs I find something more interesting to talk about so I finally cut to the chase and ask her to teach me some spells. She claims she can teach me many things and that I should come to her manor, alone, after midnight and she will reveal to me such knowledge that I have never before seen. Wow, I've seen alot, but I wonder why she wants me to come back so late. Must have something to do with the moon or some junk. Surely the Magelord's mistress wouldn't be coming on to me. Granted, I am quite the specimen, but no doubt she is pleased to be with the ruler of Moonshade. Besides Filbercio has helped me out in the recent past and I'm sure she knows that so why would she be setting me up to deal with a jealous Magelord? Maybe she's going to try and kill me? Fat chance of that, these mages may act tough but when hit with a magic ax they die like any other infidel. To hell with it, I agree to come back, and leave her house for warmer surroundings. As I walk through the door I swear I see her giving me the once over, but just chalk it up to my good looks and continue. After all, what woman doesn't have the hots for Lord Knight Avatar Mr. Bojangles. Quick glance at my pocket watch and its 330 in the afternoon. Time to find some mischief.
I head south and leave town. I am wandering through some tallgrass when I happen upon a deer. Well this poor pitiful creature of the forrest will make a nice target from one of my newly gotten spells. I select the spell Coldstrike and the instant I cast it a blue flame shoots from the ground at the animals feet and slays it instantly, I notice that instead of heat coming from the flame there is extreme cold. Very nice. My compainions and I feast on the beast's flesh and I even allow myself a swig of Ice Wine that Dupre has doubtlessly plundered hoping to feed his alcoholisim. We travel on, finding and slaying some more of those half-woman half-bird Harpy creatures and Iolo gets to test out his Magic Throwing Ax that I recently pilfered from Potho's shop (the man must really learn to hide the key to his storeroom better, under a chair is not a good enough spot to hide anything from a master thief such as myself). Come to think of it, Moonshade has become rather boring. Think I'll take a nap, learn all I can from Frigidazzi and find some way back to Monitor and slay me some goblins. I sleep at the Inn and Dupre somehow manages to wake me up on time. Its thirty minutes after midnight, time to learn some spells. I leave my companions outside Frigidazzi's door and walk inside, the cold of her dwelling chilling me to my bones. I also have a real bad feeling about this. Is this some kind of a trap? Guess I'll soon find out...
To Be Continued.....